Many of us are raised with the belief that a good education, a cushy salary and an impressive title will bring us happiness. But what happens when they don’t? Today, I’m pleased to bring you an interview with dream chaser and fellow fiction writer, Rebecca Hargreaves. I met Rebecca right here on Beyond the Gray and was incredibly inspired by her views on happiness and the pursuit of her dreams. Read on to hear how Rebecca’s corporate career path led her to the thing she loves most…
Q: Tell us about yourself. What’s your dream and how are you working towards it?
RH: My name is Rebecca and I am a writer and consultant living in Brooklyn, New York. At the most basic level, my dream is to be happy. And for a long time I thought that if I had enough fancy degrees, enough money, and enough titles that happiness would inevitably follow. Can you guess where I am going with this? I was so, SO wrong.
I am still working on figuring out a succinct dream, something easy to share in 10 words or less. I know I want to enjoy work. I want a flexible schedule. I want autonomy. I want to create. I want to serve. And…well the list could go on and on. What this means for me right now is that I am a freelance consultant and writer.
My background is in management consulting and I have worked in firms big and small. There were many aspects of those positions that I LOATHED. But there were also many parts I enjoyed. My goal in working freelance is to retain as many of the elements that I enjoy. To that end, I am working primarily on projects having to do with leadership development and managing change and helping health care organizations and non-profits better serve their communities.
But I also want to write! And that has taken me a long time to admit and own. When I first quit my full time job in late 2008, the plan was to freelance and work on non-fiction projects. Well, guess what? Every time I sat down to write, my brain starting spinning stories instead! Now it is clear that I am a fiction writer and I am doing everything I can to develop that side of myself as well. I am writing a novel, taking writing classes, and getting involved with the writing community. Best of all, I am blogging all about this journey at Diary of a Virgin Novelist.
Q: Describe a gray time in your life. How did it stand between you and your dreams? How did you overcome it?
RH: In the fall of 2009 I really began to question just what the hell am I doing? I faced some personal challenges that took me away from writing. I was feeling very unmotivated and disconnected from my creative side. I didn’t have any consulting projects on the horizon and I was stressed about money. I began to believe that I couldn’t do it. I wanted instant results and here I was, almost a year later, without much to show for it.
So, I began looking for full time work. Long story short – the night came where I had to either accept a lucrative job or turn it down. Oh, how I angsted. Finally, a friend suggested that I imagine the two outcomes: I have accepted the job and I have turned it down. I did this mental exercise and I immediately knew the right thing to do. Imagining taking this new job filled me with anxiety and resentment. Turning the job down however – and recommitting to my dreams of writing and freelance consulting – filled me with excitement.
Q: What fears have you faced as you chase your dreams?
RH: Sorry to punt on this one, but see my answer above. Self-doubt, lack of money, clunky sentences – those are all my dear friends.
Q: What inspires you to keep pushing forward when the going gets tough?
RH: Oh, I am going to be so cheesy here! My family. I am lucky – or cursed, depends on how you look at it – to be surrounded by people who are living their dreams. People who have struggled, tripped, gotten back up, and made it happen anyway. My husband loves his work. Loves it! Same goes for so many others in my life. We have musicians and working artists and architects and teachers and firefighters in our family and seeing how much joy they take in LIVING their dreams, pushes me to keep fighting for my own.
In case you are wondering, yes, I am also blind with jealousy.
Q: If you could give one piece of advice to someone else who is struggling to move beyond the gray and follow a dream, what would it be?
RH: That dreams and passions are not always sharply defined and they do not have to be massive to be meaningful. I used to think that if I were to pursue writing then I would have to win a Pulitzer Prize within a year. I needed to be sure about the HUGE payoffs before I was willing to take any risks. And that is just not reality. Neither is knowing exactly what you want to do and how you are going to do it. The journey I am on – with all its haze and confusion and bends in the roads – is not the one I thought I would be on, but I love it. So just dive in!
To read more about Rebecca’s journey, visit her blog, Diary of a Virgin Novelist.
Are you actively pursuing a dream? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Please e-mail me at: Erika (dot) Liodice (at sign) hotmail (dot) com.
I follow Rebecca at her blog and I’m so glad I visited here today. I love hearing about your journey – and am trying to get off my behind, pack that virtual suitcase of writing ideas and join the budding author brigade. Like you, my husband adores his work. And *I* love to write. So what’s stopping me?
The Diary of a Virgin Novelist is a blog that I’m already finding very inspiring. I admire Rebecca’s fire and determination to follow her self-made path, and her honesty and humor looking at the bumps on that road.
I think recognizing that our dreams can be small, private affairs is very important reminder in the “look-at-me” world we live in. I’ve certainly poo-pooed my own aspirations for thinking “these will get me nowhere” in the past. But who cares? Reaching our own dreams takes us exactly where we should be: to a happier, more fulfilled life.
So thanks, Rebecca, for once again sharing your process and reminding me that the value in what I want is exactly that it is what I want.
Rebecca’s story is completely inspiring to me. I am so impressed by her ability to shake off the shackles and chains of corporate america in order to not only find her passion, but pursue it. The initial sacrifice and determination it takes to make a break from a life spent chasing someone else’s dream is staggering, and I find it refreshing to find someone who so clearly focused on what they want vs what they were told they want. I can’t wait to find out what happens next!
I recently stumbled onto Rebecca’s blog, and I’m glad I found it. We writers need to support one another. It’s a lonely existence, and we’re constantly plagued with doubt. I’m glad we live in the age of the Internet and blogging, so we can find one another.
I’ve also checked out Rebecca’s blog and I am loving it. Its a reminder that sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Yeah, you have to do the work too, but once you’re doing it, you’re doing it! You’re writing, traveling, making lamps–whatever it is that brings you joy and pushes you forward.
I’m inspired by both Erika and Rebecca for sharing their journeys with such openness and humor.
This is so amazing, because everything Rebecca wrote is exactly what I am in the midst of right now. Even down to the conflicts about money and taking a traditional corporate job over pursuing a dream of writing. I wish you the best of luck Rebecca, I know you are well on your way.