How many people know about your dream?
Can you count the number on one hand?
When I first recognized my desire to write, guess how many people I told?
Zero.
Eventually I told my husband, but I swore him to secrecy for two years while I wrote my first novel. Deep down I hoped that I would become a successful writer FIRST and then, sometime after appearing on the New York Times Best Seller list and Oprah, admit that it was my dream all along.
But things didn’t work out quite the way I’d planned.
Why?
Because how can you become successful at anything if you’re too afraid to let people see your work?
How can you can improve and grow if you’re not willing to attend classes or listen to feedback?
How can you persevere if you don’t give your loved ones the chance to rally behind you?
Putting my dream my out there for all to see – while terrifying at times – has been one of the biggest strides I’ve made towards pursuing this passion of mine. It’s helped me connect with readers and other writers, get my work published, and most importantly, prove to myself that my dream is attainable.
When I think about all the good things that have resulted, it makes me wonder why I was so afraid to own my dream in the first place. But after reading Karen Talavera’s post “Singing (and Hip-Hopping) the Praises of Non-Conformity” on HuffPo, I realized that conformity has been a big part of it.
In my world the norm is to go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have children, and eventually (if you’re lucky enough) retire. Admitting that I wanted something different – something more – was frightening because deep down beneath my confident exterior lives the desire to be accepted by others.
Talavera’s post was a good reminder that we don’t need to justify our dreams to anyone, but we do need to live them to be happy.
I would bet that the pursuit of escaping conformity can be just as rewarding as actually realizing it.
I hope it happens sooner than later for you! Good luck!
Thanks for reading and mentioning my post. We are kindred spirits for sure! Keep writing Erika!
On the contrary, I told several people about my dream of becoming a published author. I bought into the idea that if you’re serious about your dream, you need to tell people about it so they’ll hold you accountable to it.
But what I’ve found is that every time I turn around people are constantly asking, “How’s the book coming? What’s it about? Are you published yet? Are you still writing?” yada yada yada. And all I want to do is scream, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up! I’m planting the seeds, okay. Give them time to grow, will ya?” Have I doomed myself to this being the only topic of conversation I can get? Good lordy.
Next time I’ll keep my mouth shut so I won’t have to hear the incessant ramblings of the masses. I’m happy people want to know my progress, but after a while it becomes excessive. I’ve learned I don’t have to announce my dreams/goals to justify they exist or my commitment to them. They exist and I am committed, whether I announce it or not.
Hi DGray,
I had to smile when I read your comment because I have experienced the EXACT SAME THING! It kills me when people ask if I’m published yet…as if it’s as simple a task as, say, taking out the trash.
I try to ward off my frustrations by being thankful that the people around me care enough to ask at all. I also use it as an opportunity to educate people about just how difficult it is to break into the publishing business…and to see if anyone has any publishing contacts 🙂
At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right for you. The most important part of having a dream is actively working towards it, whether you choose to vocalize it or not.
Thanks for joining in the conversation!
Erika
Erika, I’ve felt the same way for ages, in fact, that was one reason that I initially resisted self-publishing my novel. I thought “what will people think?”. And then then I realized that I should just go for it, and I’m glad I did.
So funny. I was doing a program in the Netherlands this week and one of the participants told about an article he had read which said that the “research” shows that if you tell people about your ambitions and dreams, that you are less likely to achieve them. Sounds SO counter-intiuitive to me. I can’t imagine what research that is, but I will try and find it and send it along.
I agree with you DGray…it holds you accountable. Makes you strive to accomplish the goal.
We’ll see what that article actually says and will send it along.