We each have experiences in our lives that define us, shape our values and drive our decisions. For Anderson Cooper, those defining moments were the deaths of his father, Wyatt Cooper, and his brother, Carter Vanderbilt Cooper.
This month we’re reading Dispatches from the Edge: A Memoir of War, Disasters, And Survival by Anderson Cooper. In the early chapters, we get a harrowing look behind the curtain at the anguish Cooper experienced when he was 10 years old and his father died during open heart surgery. It marred his life with grief, which he battled for the next eleven years until it was compounded by his brother’s suicide.
By the time Cooper graduated from college, a year after his brother’s death, he struggled to not only cope with his grief but to understand his purpose in the world. After graduation, he asked his mother what he should do for work and she told him, “Follow your bliss.” He said that he’d been hoping for something a little more specific. “I worried I couldn’t ‘follow my bliss’ because I couldn’t feel my bliss; I couldn’t feel anything at all. I wanted to be someplace where emotions were palpable, where the pain outside matched the pain inside. I needed balance, equilibrium, or as close to it as I could get. I also wanted to survive, and I thought I could learn from others who had. War seemed like my only option.” And it was through these tragic defining moments that Cooper’s purpose began to crystallize.
Like Cooper, we all face things that define us, though, fortunately, they’re not always tragic…or even negative. For some people, it’s beating the odds and getting a second chance at life, for others it’s meeting the right person, whether that be in the form of a mentor, business partner, motivator, etc. And as Cooper’s life and career show us, these defining experiences can help us find our calling, even if the aftermath has left us grief-stricken and lost.
In last month’s book, Open: An Autobiography by Andre Agassi, we learned that Agassi found his true calling – helping children at risk – through a series of situations where he was able to extend help to less fortunate children thereby awakening a sense of purpose that nothing, not even tennis, had ever given him.
Conversation starter: What experiences have helped you hear your calling in life? (Join the conversation by posting a comment).
Read along! This month we’re reading Dispatches from the Edge: A Memoir of War, Disasters, And Survival by Anderson Cooper.
Three defining experiences in my life have been:
1) Meeting my husband – My husband is a “dream chaser” just like me. And having someone to dream with – and believe in me when I don’t believe in myself – has given me the courage and inspiration to go after the things I really want in life. I can’t imagine my life without him.
2) Traveling – I’ve been fortunate enough to visit some fascinating places and experience some interesting cultures. These experiences have awakened a desire to write about them and share the beauty of the world with those who may never see it.
3) Blogging – When I first started “Beyond the Gray”, I had no idea that anyone would even read it, let alone that my words would reach people around the world. In the last several months, I’ve received such lovely comments and e-mails from my readers that it’s made me realize how much I love inspiring people to find their passion and chase their dreams.
Things that defined me:
1) Leaving my corporate job in Investment Banking to find a career I love.
2) My father’s death became the impetus for my writing career.
3) Moving out west provided the inspiration to follow my dreams.
Hi Suzanne,
Thanks for sharing your list! I’m awfully sorry to hear about your father, but I’m glad that you’ve been able to channel it into something creative and fulfilling. And BRAVO on leaving the job you didn’t love and moving out west. Those are 2 very huge, life-defining steps!!
Erika